The Redemption of Mr. Romance

**Below is a blog post from none other than Charles Paz! Charles was crowned "Mr. Romance" at the Romantic Times Convention 2009. I am so excited Charles agreed to write a piece for my blog! Thanks Charles....Ladies...Enjoy!**

(BTW...that lucky lady in this picture is not me. ;)

"You have to fall, Before you can Rise....."

Redemption. An act of redeeming or the state of being redeemed. Deliverance. Salvation. In one time or another, we all have gone through this in our lives. We fault. We fail. We fall. We then realize what we could do to make things better. To right our wrongs. To redeem ourselves. We then proceed to take that path to success. To prove to ourselves just what we can accomplish. And to silence the nay-sayers. No matter how many obstacles come our way, we are fueled by the desire to break through those barriers in our quest for greatness. This is just one example. This is just one story. This is my Road to Redemption......

Lets begin this at the 2009 RT convention. When most of you last saw me, I was onstage. Flashing lights. Holding trophies and having the biggest smile on my face. Not only winning the Mr. Romance title, but also winning the Readers Choice Award. I have never won anything in my life! I was very grateful and humbled by the events that took place not only that day, but the whole week as well. It truly was an awesome moment of triumph in my life. Even afterward--it was great. People coming to me and saying they would love to have me on their book covers. Authors wanting to do interviews with me for their web-sites. Even had "Agents" tell me all the things they wanted to do for me and how to market me and basically, make me a Star. I was on cloud nine to say the least. But, like a cloud, I had no idea this feeling of greatness would soon slowly evaporate and disappear.

Fast Forward to end of June. The time had come to where I got to shoot for Dorchester’s cover. New York here I come. I was very excited. Had the plane ride and got picked up at the Airport. I felt like a Star! Things were great. I met the wonderful People at Dorchester Publishing's before the photo shoot. Awesome. Then came time for the shoot. Some people from RT were also gonna be at the shoot and do a 'behind the scenes' sorta story about it. "Wow, this is really cool ", I'm thinking. I had a blast during the shoot. The model was gorgeous. Atmosphere was great and I was still on that Cloud Nine that I was at the RT convention. I stayed in NY for a few days. Saw some old friends and did some shoots in Long Island and Brooklyn. I finally got to work with one of my favorite photographers 'DeVores Vison' and felt like nothing can stop me now. I could not have been any more wrong.

Before booking my flight back home to California, my "Agent" convinced me that I must fly to Florida first and shoot for an Author and other projects that will be Good for Me and it will Make Me Look Better in the Readers Eyes.

I was at such a financial struggle at the time and barely scraped up enough money to afford the plane ticket there. I got on the plane and didn't even have enough money in the bank to pull out a $20 from the ATM. I thought to myself…It’s OK… It’s an Investment and these people will not steer me wrong. It will be for the best and work itself out in the end.

So, I arrive in Florida, and it was the beginning of the end. The story that RT did about the 'behind the scenes of a cover shoot' got picked up by some on line blog site. Pretty mainstream I guess, with lots of readers. I could only stare at the screen when I was reading some of the comments being left by people. What a Joke read one of them, Looks like Mr. Romance should be called Mr.Doughnut, read another. Pathetic. Lame. Fat. Worthless. The list went on and on. Reality was driving an 18-wheeler, and blind-sided me from the back. I had so much confidence for once and I actually felt good about myself and who I am…at least…up until that point. I then started to question my achievements and thought, Did I really deserve this?

The doubt grew greater while I was shooting in Florida. My "AGENT" kept telling me… maybe when you are in a big budget studio and actually do a real photo shoot, then maybe you could be somebody. It was solidified when the comment also came out that... if it wasn't for them…I would be nothing and that I wouldn't have been chosen as Mr.Romance back in April.
The plane ride back home to Cali was a very long one. With thoughts of self-doubt consuming me as I sat there in seat 22E between the Mother with her crying Baby and the businessman looking over papers. It’s bad enough to have total stranger tell me I'm nothing while hiding behind a computer screen, but to have the people who I trusted with my career and actually cared for in real life tell me I am worthless is a whole different story. Where do I go from here?

The following few days were hard. I was reminded of a Time to where it was an accomplishment just to wake up in the morning. I spent most of the day looking at the ceiling while I lay on the floor in my bedroom. The concerned knocks at my door from my Mother seeing if I was OK. She knows what her son was going through. She has seen this before. That lost look in his face. That look of despair and uncertainty. It hurt her more knowing that this was something that she could not fix, like every mother who cares about their children, hopelessness was the feeling that she had. But she also knew that as low of a point in my life as I was, this was not the worst I have been and that look of sadness in her face turned into a grin. Your planning your next move aren't you? she asked. I looked at her and grinned. Of course I am. And I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

Everyday was a struggle in itself. I would always call walking on the stair mill breakfast. People in the sport of Bodybuilding know that the last week is the most critical. Everything you have worked hard for can be lost within the last few days and in an instant, you can go from first place to not even finish over night. At the beginning of the last week, I weighed 220lbs. By Friday, I was down to about 207. Come morning of the show, I was down to 193. I dropped fourteen pounds overnight! I was dehydrated and struggling. It finally came time to walk onstage with my group. Every step was agony. Each pose I hit also drew a smile from my face. Why you ask? The answer is simple. I was onstage. I achieved my goal. All the people who doubted my potential and wanted to see me fail could not take that moment away from me.

The Redemption of Mr.Romance was fueled by all the negative things that were thrown at me and from the critics. I'm learning now that it’s not about the looks, or the trophies, or proving people wrong. It’s about being who I am because in the end that is what matters most. I find myself now not necessarily trying to become a man of much success, but rather, trying to become a man of value to the people I surround myself with.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us Charles!

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